I can be a bit of a drifter…and by that, I don’t mean vagabond, transient, or wandering loner, exactly. What I do mean is my tendency to slowly and gradually move along a line of least resistance, not planned or guided, but rather carried along by external influences that cause me to deviate from a previously set course.
It’s one of the reasons living at the ACTS House was so good for me…and why I’m having to confront the tendency now that I no longer live there. I knew I would…and now I am…and, of course, that means I’m going to share it with you. {It keeps me honest with myself…and hopefully helps you do the same.} And if I do a good job of explaining this, I might just be able to help my friends and family understand my dynamic, because one of the ways I tend to drift is in relationships. {Just ask them. No, please don’t. Makes me cringe to think about it, which only perpetuates the tendency…and well, I guess you catch my drift.}
I can’t really say why I do this…I just know I do. I also know that living in community helps us process why we do what we do…that we don’t really want to do…but we’ve done it for so long we have no idea how to do something different…until we decide to let others help us navigate life more intentionally with a more deliberate course of action for reaching our previously set destination. {Whew! I’ll give you a minute to catch your breath, because this next part is really key.}
Community offers one of the best ways I know to challenge paths of least resistance that sabotage more deliberate courses of action. There’s nothing like camaraderie to help us establish consistency and true connection in our relationships, because if we’re honest with ourselves, we don’t really want to be drifters. We don’t really want to jeopardize significant relationships because of an old resistant pattern. {Just ask my friends at the ACTS House. It’s why we risk being vulnerable with each other…week after week by choosing to be honest with ourselves and each other. Slowly. Gradually. Deliberately.} We want to be belongers!
And for me…if it’s really true that I don’t want to drift away from the very people who helped me overcome self-sabotaging patterns during my time at the ACTS House…or forget friends who were anchors for my reeling soul during the most turbulent times of my life…or let family ties slowly and gradually fade away into distant memories of the way we thought things would always be…then I’m going to have to fight for those relationships. And to all of you {who know who you are}…thank you for your willingness to give me the benefit of your kindness, and for confronting me with honest reactions while still pursuing meaningful connection. I’m humbled by your generosity and grateful for your grace.
Thanks also to everyone who’s still reading, even though you cringe to recognize a bit of a drifter in yourself. We know how hard it can be to confront and change old habits. It’s what makes us more thankful than ever for people who love us for who we are without allowing us to “kick the can” down another path of least resistance. Instead, they guide us along a good path. They help us chart a deliberate course of action for our lives. And they always, always point us toward the Anchor of our souls…to catch us when we drift.
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